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The Twos bandwagon rolls on!! |
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Dear readers, Well, it’s been 4 long injury-ruined weeks for your humble scribe – 4 weeks in which good progress has been made by the Leccy 2s up the division – we sit proudly in 3rd place – Sadly, not a jot has been written in that time due to the rest of the team being dyslexic, idle shysters, lacking in literary focus and ability or a mixture of the lot. Methinks that retirement from the great game beckons for me and I ought to stick to watching/umpiring/writing this load of old nonsense No matter – cricket talk is what we want I hear you shout. We travelled northwards on Saturday to the home of Loughborough Carillon Old Boys CC. It is a nice if not particularly picturesque ground just off the M1. The track is usually true if a bit slow and low – imagine our surprise to see a wicket that looked more akin to a hedgehog needing a shave – it appears the full time groundsman has retired and the lads have had to shoulder the burden themselves – add to this the fact that the mower went up the swannee this week and that Shelthorpe’s finest band of hoolies broke into the shed on Friday night and had a joyride on the roller, leaving it diesel-less in the middle of the outfield, you had to feel for them a tad.We won the toss and Lord Stephen of Waddington took the opportunity to put them in. They moved on serenely if slowly, with Gareth and Dilly restricting them to 50/0 off 20 overs. From then on, things moved on apace – Tommy Botterill took 3 wickets and Willcox and Waddington-hyphen-Keane also tried their hand. Sadly W-hyphen-K was possibly brought on a tad late and Willie bowled like a complete drain. They ended up on 202/7 – more than looked likely at 20 overs but eminently gettable. Tea – average….if tea was a woman it would not have been Nicole Kidman, but then again it would not be Norah Batty, let’s say it was Shelley the old bar-maid off Coronation St – you know what I’m saying, 5 pints on a Saturday night and you would wouldn’t you? Incidentally the Old Boys seem to have repealed the unwritten cricketing law that you give the opposition first snout in the trough, as it seemed like a plague of locusts had descended before your humble scribe managed to salvage a morsel or two.We took to the field with a strong batting line-up on paper – Keith and Lord Stephen opened, with Moss at 3, followed by Gary Webster, Gilly, Indie, Tommy B, - blimey we bat to 8 not 5 for a change!! In short Keith was dropped at extra first ball, and went on to make 50, which was roundly clapped by the Old Boys though their wicket-keeper seemed to take exception to Keith’s shocking temerity in actually sticking around for a couple of hours, scoring runs and gave him an ear-bashing to see him on his way!! Lord Stephen somehow contrived to play all round one from a GIRL!!!!!......OUT LBW!!!....the fact that she is actually quite good mustn’t ruin the tale – I repeat, Lord Stephen of Waddington, 4th Earl of Saffron de la Lane OUT TO A GIRL!!!!!! Moss prodded and nudged neatly for 20-ish before also falling LBW – A shocker of a decision from a blind Willcox – just cos it pitched in line and was hitting middle and leg half way up, there was no reason to give the lad out and he apologised profusely to an incensed Moss for his incompetence. Sadly Willcox incurred the wrath of the aforementioned custodian of the gloves by also giving two run-outs "not out" merely on the grounds that the batsmen were in by 3 or 4 yards – ho-hum!This brought the mighty Webster minor to the crease – now Gary has been out of action for nigh on 12 months with a broken finger-nail on his pinkie and we were looking forward to seeing him back in the fold. Unfortunately, we were not treated to his trademark exquisitely timed cover drive, or his Pietersen-esque pull over midwicket for 6 – no, no, no dear reader, we were all mightily bemused and amused to see him shoulder arms first delivery to a ball that pitched 3 feet outside off stump and which then subsequently jagged back alarmingly to hit the top of off-stump – a remarkable delivery and on no account should anyone apportion any blame to the boy Webster at all – frankly…………this delivery is possibly vying with the Shane Warne’s "Gatting ball" as the "ball of the century"……….ahem – Gaz, is that ok?......pint for me please!!!Moving swiftly on, Gilly came to the crease and effortlessly tonked 60 and we knocked ‘em off with 2 overs to spare – champagne moment? – Gilly straight driving a six onto the road…………glorious Another victory and next week we entertain Bardon Hill 2s at fortress Brazil St tradesmen’s entrance (still some work there….suggestions on a postcard please) Back at the club Lord Stephen was roundly condemned by Joe Carollan for keeping on picking teams to win matches instead of "bringin’ frew da yoof"……well Master Joseph, if you could tell the skipper who exactly we should be picking, I shall pass the names on to him Till next week………. Chin chin!!.... and up the somewhat yoof-free, elderly Leccy!!!!!!!!!!
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